This is me
by LaDyFiCtIoN
Summary: How would you feel being locked away? The only people that are supposed to listen to you don't What would you say? Well this is what Bryan had to say...


Just read…  
  
Disclaimer: I own my newly acquired bug bites from camping.   
  
-=This is me=-  
  
I hate doctors but more specifically psychologists and psychiatrists. I've gotten used to the probing doctors cloaked in their horribly white coats that smear so easily with blood. But shrinks and the scientists of mental life are what try my patience to such a thin level.   
  
Why bother studying a body you'll never be able to fully understand or a mind you think you've solved like a puzzle when you've scratched but the surface of the depth maze that lurks inside. If you don't have to live in this mass of flesh and bones it shouldn't concern you.   
  
They waste their time with subjects like me yet persist to try and figure me out. They try and compare me to what they've come up with already always forgetting the smallest detail in every living being. It's understandable though, it's not like it's important to remember that everyone's marked with dissimilarities. It's like we've already been transformed into artificial clones without us being the any the wiser.  
  
Everyone has similar traits but we're still all individuals. If their so smart, why can't they figure that out? It's just so much easier to classify us all. Focus on what we all have the same and ignore what's different.  
  
One of the ways they do that is with a personality test, those I despise above all. These generalized questions are supposed to describe me? Or the questions you fill out are supposed to help you come to a conclusion. I might answer that now and change my mind later on, or maybe even develop my answer further, expanding and elaborating.  
  
Example, question 1- What do you like doing above all?   
  
That's going to help you how? What I like doing doesn't necessarily reflect all of me. Maybe just a small portion of me.   
  
My doctor came in today after I took one of those tests. I roll my eyes at his whole theory; did you know people lie through these? Just because I'm in this room, with its horribly bland colour doesn't mean I can't either.  
  
You went over your conclusions, definitive traits about me and other things.   
  
I'm distant, reserved and mysterious. I can be intimidating and witty. My intelligence is well developed and I'm very complex.   
  
Malevolence and malice surfaced through your theories along with morbid and dark. Cruelty and brutality reared their heads into the one sided conversation as well.   
  
I knew all those things, every one justifiable.  
  
I have no religion, atheist since I could remember. I could easily slide toward Satanism but if you don't believe in heaven, you surely can't believe in hell. Though, I do agree with indulgence over abstinence by far. It's always better to please yourself then to deprive.   
  
I have very few hobbies. Beyblading was a natural answer to expect since I was on a team of champions. Literature has its interesting points but since it's a depth inside of me you didn't figure that out.   
  
You look at what's on my surface and not what lays dormant inside. It's like looking at but the glossy surface of the ocean and ignoring what dangers hide in the thousands of feet below.   
  
Maybe there's something dangerous inside of me you haven't found out. You guessed I was a sadist; torture always brings a smile to my lips.   
  
But you assumed that that was it and that became one of your many errors. When think sadism you wouldn't believe that I could possible be a masochist as well. If I like inflicting pain, why would I like it directed back?   
  
It seems illogical doesn't it? I suppose you didn't think of the fact that I could please both my sides at the same time. As I said, pleasure comes first.   
  
That's where all the holes in my ears, adorned with golden hoops come from. I felt the urge to hurt, so I hurt myself which felt good at the same time. It's like a two for one deal.  
  
I justified my point, look how deep one subject can go.  
  
I'd love to prove you off to be a hypocrite, a contradicting over-paid narcissist who only goes for more money.   
  
To you I'm but the patient named Bryan in room twenty three; the insane Russian native who's to go through extensive researching. I know I'm not insane; I'm just open-minded but after I voiced my opinions I think you took great joy in stamping in bold red letters that insulting word on my files.   
  
This is what you do to people who can out wit you? Lock them away? Steal their freedom?   
  
Swearing isn't something I do often. But just for you doctor I'd only have one thing to say. Fuck you.  
  
-=Ende=-  
  
....Whoa....Euh....you're probably thinking....What the fuck? Did I capture the personality right? He is after all my favourite character.  
  
Doctors wouldn't lock him away for the things he said but you have to remember this is supposed to be his version, so things are left out.   
  
It's complicated...just give me your opinion on the insight 


End file.
